One not so crafty bitch

The past few weeks have been very un-creative for me. I no longer have the time to devote to what I really love to do, create things. My work has become all I think about from the time I rise to the time I got to sleep. It has even made its way into my dreams...nightmares actually. I feel I am doing my best to learn everything they are throwing my way, but it is just so much. When did I start college again???!!!

I started a new doily earlier in the week and made it through several rounds but as I started another round, I found a boo-boo at the beginning of the previous round so I ripped it all out to start that round again. I haven't started back. Maybe I will work on it this weekend.

I now think that the toe is really broken. After two weeks, it is still swollen and tender. I can move it, but the motion is very limited and painful. I feel at times that it is a "ghost toe". It seems to not want to follow the movement of the rest of the toes. When I take my work shoes off, I find it kind of overlapping the toe next to it. Very odd. I have tried to spend any "free" time I have with the foot up but that hasn't helped one iota. About 97% of my workday is spent standing and running around, and I know that doesn't help. I have never had a broken bone, let alone a bad sprain, so all this discomfort, pain and immobility is new to me.

I even think I am developing some kind of arthritis or tendon issue in my right hand. This morning I had trouble grasping things. Mainly with my thumb and forefinger. When I tried to pick up something or turn my wrist, a dull pain would radiate through those fingers towards the wrist. Simple things such as picking up the Brita filter or turnng on a faucet makes it hurt. I am going to do my best to not over-exert and over-use the hand but that going to be a difficult task for me. I guess I will does up on ibuprofins. That should help both the toe and the wrist.

I got some sad news Monday evening. I knew it was coming and it was only a matter of time before it happened. My Oma died Monday morning. She has been in hospice for a few months and her health has been declining over the last 4 years. She has had several other problems over the past few months that actually should have killed her. She developed sepsis following a UTI and bladder infection that went unnoticed for a while. Somehow they got those problems under control with some hella-high dose antibiotic and she made it through. I think she just didn't wake up this time. I take comfort knowing that she isn't in pain anymore and is now with her beloved husband, my Opa, who died in 2002. SH and I are leaving for North Carolina tomorrow for the funeral.

*Oma is the german word for Grandmother. Opa is the german word for Grandfather. My brother and I started calling our grandparents this since we lived in Germany as children.

Toe-lio

I don't think the toe is broken but I have one hell of a bruise. My old boss would say I have Toelio. :)

After the swelling went down a bit, the bruise started forming. I was then able to move things around a little and could tell where the initial injury was. The boo-boo is on the inside of the pinkie toe where it joins the foot. The skin isn't broken, I think somehow I pulled the toe away from the rest of the foot by getting it stuck in the wheel mechanism of the shopping cart. The bruise runs down the medial side of the toe and extends about 3 inches into the anterior side of the foot. (Nice use of medical jargon huh?) It looks like a puddle of purple on the top of my foot. It seems to get more purple every hour and I imagine it will molt into a lovely shade of greenish yellow, reminiscent of my lipo bruises. I have been doing my best to stay off it and keep it iced, but with weekend chores it has been difficult. I am going to see if there is something I can do tomorrow at work that will allow me to sit. Visual field tests maybe...... Walking hurts and I waddle when I do. That sucks. I really hate this happened within my first week of work!! I would show yall a picture but I don't want to scare you off. I don't mind my feet, I just hate the pinkie toenail. Sometimes I wish we didn't even have a nail on that toe because it is always misshapen and wierd looking. I have NEVER seen a pinkie toenail that was pretty.

I think I broke my toe!!!

I was walking through the parking lot at the grocery store when somehow I got my pinkie toe hung up in the wheel mechanism of the shopping cart. YOW!!! I still had more errands to run so I hobbled around to get everything done before going home. Walking on the foot is excruciating. I have been trying to bear weight more on the instep of that foot to help. I got home and iced the toe and checked it out a little better. It is very swollen and is starting to show bruising. Great. Just what I need right now. I don't even think my insurance at the new job has gone in yet. I just hope that I twisted/wrenched/sprained/pulled it instead of actually breaking it. I am on my feet ALL DAY LONG at this new job and a broken toe would be very bad news. NOOOOOOOOOO.

One year ago...

One year ago this weekend, one of my best friends was given some very bad news. She found out she had breast cancer. She has always said she "felt" something like this would eventually happen to her. SH and I had already planned on a visit to see her and her SH that weekend, we always visited them for Labor Day. When we arrived at their house, she was already home and was outside with her neighbor. We thought it odd that she was already home from work, but didn't really think much else...until we saw her face. Something was not quite right. We all went inside and she sat us down at the table as if we were her children and delivered the news. We spent the entire weekend researching on the internet and doing as much as we could to learn about what she would be going through in the months to come. The doctors weren't 100% sure yet, an MRI, genetic testing and a biopsy still needed to be done, but they were pretty sure of what the diagnosis would be. She had noticed a lump months ago and went for a mammogram when she turned 35 and her insurance would cover it. Her doctor basically dismissed it saying she had "fiberous breasts". FF to last Labor Day weekend. The lump had continued to grow (it was roughly the size of an egg at this point) and she decided she better get a second opinion. When all the test results came in and were read, the findings were clear. She did have a cancerous mass in one breast, had another small mass in the other, was a carrier of the "cancer gene" and would possibly have additional cancers come up in the future. Because of this, she opted to have a hysterectomy along with a double mastoctomy. She soldiered on through several months of draining chemotherapy. SH and I were only able to visit a few times during this period and seeing her soo weak and frail was extremely difficult. Her physical strength was diminished, but her inner strength was stronger than ever. Her SH and family were always there to tend to the house and her. She finished her Chemo in February and has been slowly recuperating from that. Her hair is slowly growing back and she is starting to look more like herself. She is scheduled for breast reconstruction breast next week. Because of the double mastectomy, she was left with virtually no skin on her chest to hold implants. Over the past coupla months, she has been undergoing a procedure that creates extra skin to hold the implants by means of ballon expanders. From what I understand, they placed balloons under her skin that are slowly "inflated" with fluid. I think every few days/weeks they put more fluid in until the pocket is large enough to accommodate the new mams. They will tattoo new nipples on the skin too. How crazy is that?

I am so happy she has finally made it through to the other side. It is amazing what can transpire in a year. She has soldiered on knowing that things had to be dealt with only to move forward. She has kept her sense of humor and almost the entire time she has had a positive outlook. I am sure she has had some moments of negativity and dejection, but who wouldn't? D, you are a superhero to me. I love you and can't wait to see you...and the new tits!!!

A serious world o' hurt

Yesterday I had one of the worst headaches I have ever had. It was seriously like #2 of all the bad headaches I have survived. At one point I thought I may have had an aneurysm. They say that an aneurysm feels like the worst headache in the world. Part of the time I felt that my head might actually explode, the other part of the time I thought that killing myself would hurt less. (not really) The remainder of the time I was either sweaty with chills, unable to get comfortable or nauseous. I couldn't strip down, I was at a friends house. Getting comfortable simply wasn't gonna happen. I knew that puking wouldn't help, it would merely increase the throb-ocity. Those of you who get headaches know what I am talking about. Any movement that lowers your head over about 30 degrees make it throb even harder. I medicated with Ibuprofin early on trying to stop it before it progressed into a monster. I was too late. I went from leaning against the bed to sitting in a rocking chair to sitting on the toilet in the bathroom. Sometimes splashing cold water on my hands and face would help. SH had a pow-wow with the lady of house concerning my condition. She brought me real meds. I took 2 pills, one to make the pain stop and one to make me sleep. I took half of the sleep pill. This made me almost unable to stand/lean anymore. I spent what felt like an eternity sitting on the floor in a bedroom, eyes closed overhead fan on full blast. The coolness of the fan felt good but on the flipside the cold air hurt my skin and made me even more nauseous. There I sat, eyes covered, sometimes I rocked, sometimes I sat still. Always rubbing my forehead. Everything above my neck hurt. I did my best not to concentrate on the pain and just breathe. *Insert annoying yoga instructor here* Focus your breath. Long, slow breath in. Long slow breath out. Long, slow breath in. Long slow breath out. This did help and has always helped me when I have this kind of headache. The SH finally decided we should head home and he very sweetly packed up all my stuff, the DiscoGirl, and a to-go plate the lady of the house had prepared for me. We started the trip home. At first the headache got worse and I started to worry. I eventually calmed down and settled in for the quiet ride home. We got home and I felt a bit better. SH made me some soup and I got in bed. Blinds closed, lights off. I stayed there for about 30 minutes and felt loads better. I took it easy the rest of the evening and am back at 100% today.

I think the headache was from too much sun. I had been drinking water all day, and I had eaten. I think I just got too damn hot. :(